i know you lied when you explained the sky
don't come near me with bare feet slapping wood
crying black water as one thousand roses boil in an iron rain apparatus
stay with me.
don't leave in your green boots
across the freshly mowed lawn.
if i were to call
would you answer the phone
before you knew it was me?
if i were to fall
could your fragile bones
protect me from the ground?
if i were to cry out
would you hear me through the darkness?
i can't stand your beauty
i am not blind
i simply crave diversion
i know that when my eyes are closed you watch me pretend to sleep.
did i believe i was human?
wrong. i am a construction of wires that far
surpasses fleshy material. made of the finest
filaments of metal;
the eye cannot detect
the difference.
to believe in myself is impossible
the moment i discovered i was alive i ceased to live
i feel nauseous
wanting nothing
asking for everything
slipping into obscurity
becoming comfortable
dying inside.
it all comes down to this:
sometimes, in the dark, we can be who we are
but during the daytime...
it all has to be perfect.